AND MIDGETS* TOO

STOP! If you haven't read the monkey blog, please scroll down and read the blog entry just below this one. It will help you, trust me. Now, let's carry on...

I CAN COME HOME NOW!!!! My life is almost complete! Yesterday, at 9:30 a.m. I saw monkeys. And then.... wait for it... at 9:30 last night - I SAW A MIDGET. Not only did I SEE a midget, I took my photo with her.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, that picture was worth a thousand Djiboutian francs. We went out to Djibouti City as an office last night for Jen and Wes's going away dinner. If you have ever been to a Mexican boarder town, that is a lot like what Djibouti City is. But worse. There are people hawking things on every corner. And in the middle of the streets. Lots of panhandling and lots of crap trinkets for more money than they're worth. Lots of kids yelling something that I think is the Somalia equivalent of "Chicklet...chicklet..." but I don't speak the language yet, so I don't know.

The little African midget woman was selling cigarettes and necklaces, neither of which I wanted. But she WAS more than willing to pose for a photo with me - for a price. And hey, I'm not above paying for what I consider an experience of a lifetime. I've waited 33 years for midgets and monkeys. And to be able to have both, in one day, in AFRICA was really the highlight of my trip thus far. What can I say, I set my sights low (hehe, no pun intended.)

Dinner was bad pizza at an expensive price. And we got ripped off - twice. And had to pay someone to "watch" our vehicle before we could get back into it. And I think we almost died twice on the road. Um... 4 lanes and no traffic laws. I'm not lying. No traffic laws at all. It's like the bumper cars at Knot's Berry Farm mixed in a little with 13 year boys on Go Karts - driving blindfolded. We had to avoid Djiboutians on bikes. And men in skirts and flip-flops. And goats. And dogs. And a truck full of camels (man I wish I had my eyes open and camera ready for THAT picture. But I was knee deep in my 14th round of Our Fathers at that point and just praying we made it there safely. I DID not fly all this way to die in a van versus camel accident 10 clicks from the front gate!)

On a side note, I get a 96 hour liberty pass while I'm here and there is a group of us thinking of taking a safari in Tanzania in late May as a "happy birthday to me" and a happy birthday to Cindy too. Her birthday is a month after mine, but we're afraid if we split the difference and try to go in late June, we both might just catch fire. She's as fair and blonde as I am and we both might spontaneously combust if we get THAT close to the sun. Rumor has it that it's still a bit cool (hahahahahaha - as compared to the surface of the sun maybe) in May and therefore more bearable. I know the thought of four girls on safari in Tanzania might be a scary thought for some people. But don't worry - I'm planning accordingly. We are looking for a fifth person now. And we're auditioning based on body composition and physical fitness scores - we need a cubby girl who can't run. You know that if we're being chased, they'll always pick off the slowest, so as long as we have someone to bait them with, we'll be fine. SEE - I AM practicing operational risk management even in my off time.

* Yes yes, Michele. I know there is a difference between "midgets" and "little people" and "dwarves." I do. But somehow, I just don't think saying "There's nothing in life funnier than achondroplasia disproportionate dwarfism and monkeys" has the same ring to it. So... for the purpose of this blog, we'll stick with "midgets and monkeys." The journalist in me feels it necessary to explain that I know the difference. But the ADHD 12 year old hiding in my brain loves the alliteration too much to stop saying it. Hehe