I SAW MONKEYS

I saw monkeys today! Okay, really, they are red-assed baboons, but it's more fun to say monkeys. It was my first true African experience. And anyone who knows me know that I love nothing more than midgets and monkeys. Rumor has it that there is a Djiboutian midget in town, so now that I've seen the monkeys, it's time to hunt out the midget. Then I can get on the next hot thing smoking out of here and say my mission was complete.

Today I went out with the Djiboutian Navy. (Navy is a loose term - they have MAYBE 200 people in their entire Navy) I rode aboard the DNS Arkansas. No. I'm not lying. You CAN'T make this stuff up folks. It is a 55' Sea Hawk that was built in none other than Monticello, Ark., bought by the Embassy here and then sold/donated/traded/whatever to the Djiboutian "Navy."

It was an interesting experience, to say the least. But they were VERY kind to me.
They were not able to say "Kati" so they called me "Ange" which, in French, loosely translates to "Angel." STOP LAUGHING! There is SOOOO much lost in translation here. And I'm sure, since I am THE whitest thing they've ever seen, I just might look angelic to them. Hehehehe. Okay, even I'm laughing at THAT.

Anyway, once we were underway (Navy speak for the boat is moving I guess) they offered me an almost cold Coke in a bottle and then each of them came out at least once to inquire about my safety. I think there was great fear among the crew that I would fall overboard at some point. And that is amazing, considering they don't even know me! Had they known me, I'm sure they would have lashed me to the railing to ensure my safety.

When we reached the Port of Obock, we met with the Commissar - which is like the governor of Obock. That is kind of silly since Obock has maybe 500 people living there. I was treated to a flat, fried pan "bread" and some grilled fish with a side of lime. Once I convinced myself that we were really just inland of Ensenada and that I was eating fresh fish tacos, the entire meal became quite appetizing. To be honest, it was GOOD. All I needed was a cold drink and I would have been set.

While there, I looked over to a fence area about 10 yards away and saw a whole pack of red-assed baboons. There were cute little babies and a big fat Alpha Male and all of them sported the best Don King coif I have ever seen. They were grooming and picking and howling. So I had to come over take photos - of course - which just tickled my Djiboutian escorts. I think it would be the equivalent of someone coming to New York and then being enthralled by the pigeons in Central Park. I guess the monkeys just don't hold the same luster for them. They don't know the joy they're missing.

I got to see where we're helping to build a sanitary meat processing plant and I toured a hospital. It was an interesting day. I WAS a little bit disappointed that our boat didn't have any flintlock pistols or cannons on board to ward off the pirates we might encounter in the gulf. But then I was doubly disappointed when we didn't actually encounter any PIRATES. Which made the lack of weaponry a moot point. Oh well... maybe next time!